i have been absent from the blogging world for quite sometime now. i enjoyed a nice little break from school and i am now back in full gear for fall with kids, school, work, and all the stuff that comes with it.
i know that this is quite an unusual title to begin my journey back into blogging but it is what God has been re teaching me through the past year. i have not been the best learner. i have been whiny and childish at times. i have shed tears through the struggles that i have faced. but today i picked up a book that i read when i first got married, “The Power of a Praying Wife.” it is one of my all time favorite books. i immediately flashed back to a time when jonathan first got married. i was frustrated with the newness of adjusting to living with a boy. i moved from an apartment where we all pitched in together to clean and pick up and transitioned into living with a boy. in reading the book i realized that i often had unrealistic expectations of jonathan and he probably had the same. if we got into an arguement i would immediately go to take a shower to pray and to fuss him out to God (i still do this by the way). in the end God would end up showing me what i needed to change and how i was all of a sudden expecting jonathan to meet needs that only a perfect God could meet.
so back to the present, i am relearning the same lesson 10 years and four kids later. a woman’s calling is not easy (neither is a man’s by the way). i sometimes swing between the extremes of “im a woman hear me roar” to “im falling apart, i can’t do this anymore”. but my calling is not meant to be done on my own strength and when im falling apart it is not my husband or family’s fault. im here for them, im suppose to show God’s peace in the midst of all the stuff going on. it is my own fault for not relying on God. it is awesome when God shows His love to me through my family’s help but it is not a right nor is it pleasant to live with someone who is always stressed out. so i am learning still to rely on Him to fill me and to rely on His peace in the midst of stuff and uncertainties that comes with being a mommy and wife.